Category Archives: Encouragement

Inspiration:  Jul-11-2015(11)

“Girls want attention. Women want respect.”

Its taken me forever…to get this message.  

The more i respect myself, the more respect i gain. And oddly, enough, a ton of attention to go with it.💋

  

  

  
TOXICITY IN RELATIONSHIPS: Emotional Blackmail

I feel that it would be prudent to reflect upon the underlying root cause that a person would stay in a situation where they are being kept hostage emotionally. What does that mean then, “being held hostage emotionally”.  

A hostage is a person that is kept against their will by some threat of impending danger to their life. Wow, Iam being held hostage emotionally because my life depends on receiving emotional intimacy? This is impossible. I will not die if a person does not give me care, affection, love, attention

However, the fact is, Iam still there allowing this to happen. Why? This is the real questi

So let’s delve into this further by asking: What is emotional intimacy?

Emotional intimacy, to me, is about being able to express freely my true feelings of love and affection and care to a person without holding back, without fear of rejection or without fear of duty; and receptively, accepting true feelings of love and affection and care from another without holding back, without fear of rejection and without fear of duty. Is this accurate?

If this definition is accurate, how does someone become a hostage?

 

“…With this false belief, any person can keep us captive…”
 
The illusion of need and requirement have come to mind. If we believe we need this to survive then, of course, the threat of it being taken away may make us feel as though our life may be endangered. With this false belief, any person can keep us captive as long as they supply us with enough emotional intimacy to sustain us and eventually this becomes habitual.

So what’s the deciding factor or factors? 

Both individuals engaging in this type of relationship are suffering from a lack of nourishment emotionally. Although it would appear that the “kidnapper’s” motives are sociopathic or narcissistic, the fact remains, these individuals have or are suffering from their own emotional mal-nourishment.  

The two people form a relationship in which both are seeking the nourishment of connecting emotionally and therefore form an underlying, spiritual bond. This attachment can form the illusion of an almost indestructible prison world where either parties will find it difficult to leave or release themselves. In other words, the relationship is addictive in nature.

It can happen in short term relationships and long term. However, the bond only solidifies as time passes, making it more and more difficult to leave. 

Eventually, as in all addictions, there is a ratio of pleasure-pain that contributes to the overall inability to foresee the relationship developing an unhealthy, detrimental quality, and eventually, toxic nature.

 

“…the illusion of an almost indestructible prison world…”
 
How can we equip ourselves to prevent this from happening at all? Can we do this with conscious awareness or is it such a subtle process that it is virtually undetectable when it happens….?

Everything in our life is there because we attract it. This is a hard pill for some to swallow as there are injustices in the world that are inexplicable. However, everything that happens, happens for a reason, and the reason is always good.

Join me in Part II of this blog, where I will discuss the steps that allowed me to develop a strong sense of self in order to prevent the further creation of emotional blackmail in relationships.

“…develop a strong sense of self…”

  

 ❤️GOOD FRIDAY❤️

 IAm not a practicing Catholic, however, I have always observed Good Friday with sadness and compassion for Jesus Christ.

It is not until recently in my life that I observe the injustice, violence and cruelty to this human being as a door that is passed through to enable one to embrace THE LIGHT.

It doesn’t have to be this way, however, contrast is needed to re-member our eternal BEING.

Jesus was an example for us to love, live in peace, forgive, and accept that through darkness there is LIGHT.  Surrender to what life brings and BE FAITHFUL–God does NOT abandon us.  

PERSEVERE–never give up.

On this day when one of our “brothers” endured such suffering, let’s focus on our internal power rather than the injustices of the “outer” world which are only illusions…

Let us recite the following affirmation:

You are anointed.  Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

You are anointed.  Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

You are anointed.  Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

You are anointed.  Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. 

You are anointed.  Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

You are anointed.  Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

You are anointed.  Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

Inspiration:

If you let go of something that is not really aligned with your true self and your true desire, let it go.

The real thing will never be able to replace the illusion, if you don’t break that illusion.
You break it by letting go.

The decision to let go is much more valuable and important than the act itself.
If your decision is final and grounded, the Universe will respond to it.
However, if there is any weakness in that decision, the Universe will continually present people and circumstances to you until it feels the vibration of your decision being final.

The more true you are to yourself and your innate desire, the easier it will be to Be decisive.

Then all your desires begin unfolding.

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SELF-RESPECT: The highest form of loving yourself

What is respect?

By definition:

  1. an attitude of admiration or esteem;
  2. a feeling of friendship and esteem;
  3. the condition of being honored (esteemed or respected or well regarded);
  4. regard highly;
  5. think much of.

 

We can use the definition as a guide to work towards developing “an attitude of admiration or esteem” for our self.

Respecting yourself is not about how others treat you.  We often go around demanding that others “respect” us.  We may also believe that respect is earned.  As in our examination of self-love, introspection is required in order to develop an “esteem” for ourselves that will attract respect from others.  It is given freely.

So often, we blame others for their lack of value in us that we do not see that the way we treat our self is what others use as a guideline.  If a person is continuously experiencing a lack of respect in a majority of their relationships, it would be important to become aware the cause is due to a lack of respect in their self.

Respect is about value and worthiness we have towards our self. Continue reading SELF-RESPECT: The highest form of loving yourself

Good morning and thank you God❤️

Affirmation:

Iam happy.
It is darkest just before the dawn and even in this moment as I sit here in contemplation of my life and of you God, I feel as though Iam basking in the warmth of light.
Iam powerful and Iam beautiful.
Iam receiving and open to love.
In all moments I keep in the awareness that Iam the daughter of a King.
The Universe supports me in every endeavor.
May I follow the path that leads to servitude to others.
Why am I so loved and fortunate?

Everything is as it should be and ALL IS WELL❤

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